I pulled myself back while sitting with family recently and really took IT ALL IN. The laughter, the tears, the sounds, the voices, the togetherness that filled the house of my Aunt who just learned she had stage 4 bone cancer.  

Time is such a precious thing that we cannot take for granted but yet it is in our nature to do so. Why then do we spend so much of our time mindlessly scrolling on our phones or binge watching a TV show? Time is the only thing that we can never get back. Once it passes; it is gone forever. To be native to what our future holds is maybe what being human is all about. I simply ask for you to zoom out and enjoy the simple things. On my lonely drive home from visiting my Aunt, I had time to reflect. I didn’t listen to music, as my head was flooded with so many emotions and thoughts. I was coming to an overpass on the interstate and I couldn’t help but stare at a large American flag gently blowing in the wind as I passed it. Such beauty. Such a calming. Everyday wonderment is all around if we look up from our screens and get out of the cubicles. 

Life has more meaning when you can live it. You have one shot to make a difference. One go on this earth, so you need to make it count. I find it true in what they say that life is really full of highs and lows. So we should really enjoy the high moments because they are certain to not last forever. Anyone’s life can change in an instant. These lows are not predictable and usually catch us so off guard. But these lows, as tragic as some many be, are there to remind us to live, to enjoy, and to be grateful for the good times.

So often we talk about the bad things in our lives when we should have gratitude for all the good within ourselves and others. When we focus on the positive things; then being happy isn’t a choice anymore. It becomes a lifestyle, a living breathing way of life. 

We all have that one aunt who is different from the rest. Cut from a different cloth and so much fun to be around. Throughout our lives, we are inspired by different people. Some are famous that we may never meet but connect with based on their values and beliefs. Some are perfect strangers that we hear about that have done something amazing for humankind and it restores your faith that the world is still full of great people. Some are humanitarians of history that were the first of their time and have accomplished something truly visionary. And some, and maybe the most important, are those that are close to you in your daily life. One of these people for me, is my Aunt that just was diagnosed with terminal cancer. 

She has always been the crazy one in the family that truly lives life to the fullest. In her early twenties, she was in a very bad motorcycle accident with a severe head and brain injury. She fought to learn to read, to talk, and to write again. Her future was very unclear. She was blessed with a miracle and had a full recovery but it took a long road to get there. I have reason to believe that this near death experience shaped her into the strong female she is today. 

At 49, my aunt lost her husband to colon cancer.  It was heartbreaking to see her and the rest of my family go through this. She was resilient through it all and showed such strength and perseverance to me, her three children, and to so many others. My uncle wrote on a notepad in his final days a message to her. It read, “NEVER STOP LOVING, LIVING, DOING.” That is exactly what she did. 

She didn’t let tragedy consume her when her world came crumbling down. She didn’t become bitter and develop a negative attitude toward life. She didn’t feel sorry for herself that she was a widow. Instead, she was grateful for the time they spent together, for their three beautiful and healthy children, and for her strong support system to help her through. 

I have always been inspired by her authenticity. She didn’t care if people liked her or not and she spoke the truth even if sometimes it wasn’t well received. My aunt has always remained true to who she is, adapted to her surroundings, and played the hand she was dealt. She found love again too and was reunited with her high school sweetheart who had also lost his spouse to cancer as well. Their love story has always been one of my favorites. You couldn’t help but smile and feel good when you saw the two of them together. It goes to show, if someone is meant to be in your life, they will. The universe has a precarious way of bringing people together sometimes. 

Her heart is big and full of courage as she faces yet another challenge. She is surrounded by so many friends and family that care so deeply about her as she has brought JOY to so many faces. During my two day visit, I was overwhelmed by the number of people that came to visit her. The front door was a revolving door of people coming in and out. While she rested and took a nap, I have the opportunity to sit down with her long time friends from high school (they call themselves, “THE YAYAS”) and hear stories of my aunt that I didn’t know. It was clear just how much this woman meant to them. JOY was a word that was used alot in the conversations. Friends are the best family to have because at the end of the day; they CHOOSE to be part of your family. They are not connected by blood; they are connected based on their own free will. And what could be more powerful or more true than that? 

My aunt couldn’t believe all of the people in the community that have come to show their support for her through visits, cards, flowers, gifts, and love and prayer. She said, “It’s just me. I don’t know why they think I’m so special.” The special ones are special because they don’t always know the impact that they have on others. Her love and joy is endless. She has taught me an important concept- LOVE IS A RIPPLE. She has given love in some many ways to others and it is now her time to receive the love back in her biggest time of need.  Never underestimate the ripple of your actions. You get what you give. Her actions were always driven by love. Her meaning, her purpose.

Your actions cause a ripple effect outward- one person at a time. Give to those deserving of your time and interest. Say what is on your mind. Empower and encourage others. Don’t wait; do it today before the moment is gone.

 

KK

One….. It may seem so insufficient. But it is not. It only takes one to create a movement, to define a moment, or to make a difference in tomorrow.

One….. It is all a matter of perspective. So many things begin with one. One reason to seek to make a change. One opportunity to pave the way. One decision to stand up for a belief.

One has the ability to be so much more. One can cause a ripple effect. One can change the world as we know it.

It’s one bus ride. It’s one airplane trip. It’s one book written of a wizard. It’s one female presidential nominee.  It’s one victory against the Romans. It’s one solicitude of black. 

One…..Is pretty important you see.

 I encourage you to tell your story. What is HERstory? What is your inner voice telling you? Find your fire and blow your own damn mind. Be your best G.O.A.T. (Gal Of All Time) and tell others how you created her.

 

Inspiring Traits

If you think about characteristics of inspiring people– they all have a few things in common.

1. Passion– An endless desire and yearning for what they believe.  Their goal or mission embodies them.
2. Commitment– Deeply involved. They focus on their desire until it becomes a reality.
3. Guts-It takes courage to be a trailblazer when others criticize you. Thick skin is a must. They don’t chant, “I think I can.” They say, “I know I can.”
4. Vision– They are driven and have a vision. How they navigate through all of the obstacles along the way makes the impossible possible.
5. Authenticity– They have the ability to captivate people with their charisma. Others are drawn to them because of their powerful message or mission. They instill in us hope and stimulate our minds to think differently.
6. Involvement– They include not exclude. They know there is strength in numbers. They encourage others to join.
7. Progress– They adapt. They change. They evolve into what is needed. They have a deep sense of perseverance.
8. Failure– Yes, they fail. They use it to their advantage to grow, to learn, to flourish. They find another way to make it happen. Turning setbacks into comebacks.

One of my favorite quotes inspires me often. When the voice in my head has doubt, I remember this.

 “We are all living in a cage with the door wide open” -George Lucas

One day or day one. You decide.

 

Ready to LIVE HERstory?

KK

 

 

 I am enough. This is me. I am going to move mountains. Because I can.

There are many words I identify with- but one in particular is FEMALE. Yes, I’m a female and that is a fact.  I am so much more than the dictionary definition of the word because if I lived my life based on that definition, I am nothing more than the opposite sex of a male that can bear offspring and produce eggs.  I am uniquely made just like you and have something special to offer the world or I simply would not have been created in the first place.

I have had hardship in my life like so many people but life is not meant to be easy.  These chain of events of “HERstory” have molded and sculpted me into the person I am today. These series of challenges, obstacles, oppositions has forced me to view my life from a new perspective and become resilient in the process. I have learned not to be discouraged by the word NO. Because the answer is never no, it’s NEXT OPPORTUNITY.

When I am tested now in life, I ask myself, “What is this very moment trying to teach me?” The old me would have said, “Why is this happening to me?” It is a completely different mindset, a mindset that I hope to share with others. In the last few years of my life, I have learned so many things, though I cannot turn back time to change how I dealt with certain situations, I can absolutely apply more courageous efforts moving forward. As can you.

My parents, God love them, they truly received a blessing when they welcomed me into the world. I was the first highly sought after little baby girl that they wanted to adorn in ruffles and bows and dress in a sea of pink. Well, they didn’t get what they expected, or I should say, what society expected. I didn’t like dolls and I surely didn’t like wearing dresses. The greatest memories of my childhood were spent outdoors doing things that should I dare say, were boy activities? Society deemed me as a tom boy and relatives said, “Not to worry, as it is something she will just grow out of. ” Well, some of those things did fade away but not all of them. I still enjoy many of the things from my childhood today that society would consider unacceptable for a female, or at the very least, should not be a priority for one.

Life is such an incredible adventure filled with opportunities and challenges, but mostly importantly- choices. Having a strategic choice on what you invite into your own life truly does make all the difference. Just because one does not believe in what it is happening around them, doesn’t mean that it is not happening.  Life is a journey that we are all on whether we choose to make the best of it or not. We change, we adapt, we learn, we grow, and we continue to search for our purpose and motivation. 

Once I started to reach some key milestones in my life that society deemed to be attributes of a “successful person”, my cup was still not full, and I continued to search for happiness around each corner. It wasn’t until I really pondered and reflected on what I personally wanted out of life and thought about what I could offer the world that I saw true changes in myself.

What did success look like to ME? What would the world look like if I could change it? How do I prepare my daughter for this world and teach her that she is free to make her own choices and grow up to have the same opportunities as her brother?

It was in those moments that I made one of the most important decisions in my life thus far. I had it in my mind that I WILL make a difference not only for her, but for all future female leaders.  My inner warrior was awakened! I felt a new sense of freedom, empowerment, and self-worth.

There is no better feeling than the one you get when you have helped others to succeed and reach beyond what they think is possible for themselves. In my professional career, I have had the privilege to lead many people and each experience has shaped me into the leader I am today. I also can count on one hand my former executives that have provided valuable resources, time, and energy to ensure that I succeeded in the corporate world where I have had the opportunity to manage multi-million-dollar businesses. I truly believe with all my heart that I have finally found my purpose in life and my past has set me up for this very moment. I am a creative being by nature, I love thinking outside the box and truly sharing something that can better others is the cherry on the top.

But in the end, this story isn’t about me. It’s about us-ALL FEMALES.

Women now more than ever have MOMENTUM and we must have the courage and strength to persevere and keep moving forward to fight for gender equality in a mindful, positive and respectable way. Momentum is a beautiful thing as Newton’s First Law of Motion states: an object in motion, stays in motion. We are stronger together. Empower yourself and empower those around you. Believe when there is doubt, be the light when there is none, and be the voice of reason when there is silence. Our reactions speak our story to the world around us. The worst thing you can do is to do nothing or not show support to your own gender regardless of your personal beliefs. The choice is yours-what will you stand up and fight for? What do you believe is possible? We must create a world so that future females do not have to have the same battles, and worse yet, wonder where they lost their voice to be heard. Out of all the things to be, be authentic. Be YOU. The world is counting on it. There are far too many critics in our everyday encounters; what we need are more encouragers.

 

With Love,

KK